Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Love Triangle


"Some Mama's and Daddies are loving in a straight line, take 'forever' to heart and then take a long sweet ride; 
but some Mama's and Daddies let their heart strings tear and tangle.
And some Mama's and Daddies run out of love in '94 and some Mama's and Daddies don't even talk no more; 
and some Mama's and Daddies let their heart strings tear and tangle.

And some of us get stuck, yeah some of grow up in a Love Triangle."
-RaeLynn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I truly wish I was the one to write this song, it hits extremely close to home – the childhood homes I grew up in. It’s so raw, full of emotion and gives you the reality of growing up as the child of divorced parents.

As a kid of divorce, it can hurt at times when the whole point of family is to be a unit with both parents, making memories together. When your parents are divorced, it’s just not that way. You have two bedrooms, two Christmases, two sets of parents, two sets of siblings, pretty much two of everything. Two very separate lives, completely different from the other. 

As a kid, my Pop lived 3 hours away and would pick me up every other Friday and drop me off on Sunday. Every Sunday, I remember myself, as well as my Pop, getting a little sad, emotional and teary eyed because we wouldn't get to see each other for two whole weeks. I wouldn't get to go on those special outdoor adventures, or smell the scent of car oil that was stained into his clothes, or go the Fast Stop and pick up bean and cheese burritos that we both have a weakness for. 

My Pop and I had some tough times, and sometimes I think he hated that I was getting old enough to realize it and I think he hated it even more when he knew that I knew we didn't have much - like I did at my Mama's. I never said anything. I never asked for anything. I knew it tore him up at the time that he worked so hard to make a poor man's dollar, but he offered me everything he possibly could. Even though I was just a little girl, I knew that money couldn't ever buy my time with him and that I wanted to be there more than anything.

Now, 2 weeks may not sound that long, but when you're a little girl and live 287 miles from your Daddy, that seems like eons - an eternity could pass by while you're dying to see someone you love as much as you love your Daddy. After all, a Daddy is every little girl's first hero. 

Now, that's not to say that I didn't miss my Mama every second I was away from her. Even though I was hunting, fishing, working on cars, riding horses and dirt bikes, or swimming in the pool or the river, I still cried for my Mama. There were times even then, even though I loved my Pop to pieces and completely adored him, I idolized my mother and wanted to see and be with her. I wanted her there with me and at times, I couldn't understand for the life of me why she couldn't be. I ached horribly for her, because it was hard not to see her, especially when I lived with her for 9 months out of the year. I wanted her there. To have her sing, "You Are My Sunshine" to me, to sit on the edge of my bed and brush my hair across my forehead with her gentle fingers while she watched me sleep. For me to wake up to her doing so by the smell of her perfume in the air.

The pains of wanting both parents with you at all times was always like fighting tooth and nail. When I was a toddler until about the age of 6 or 7, I could never figure out why I couldn't have both parents with me. It was either "Mommy's turn" or "Daddy's turn." I could never understand why it couldn't be "Both your turn at the same time." I would sit and wonder why Daddy was always gone or why he had to live somewhere else. Then once I started school, it was hard to understand why the other children got to have both their parents living with them and why they got to be with both their parents for every event in their lives, but I couldn't. I couldn't wrap my little mind around that. I would have loved to have my Pop there in the audience during school choir concerts, in the stands for softball games, or there during paint nights. And sure, I wanted my Mama to see my big splashes off the rope swing into the river and yes, I wanted her to see how I could saddle up and gallop away into the sunset filled pastures, or see how I could check the oil and change a car battery by myself. The things one parent misses out on because they are sharing time with the child they share with the other...

It may be hard for the parents, but to the child, it's a million times worse. Playing the middle man like the baseball from the pitcher to the catcher, from the catcher back to the pitcher... Constantly. In the middle of everything - the smiles, the tears, and even worse... the fights.

As I mentioned before, as a kid, my Pop lived 3 hours away and would pick me up every other Friday and drop me off on Sunday. When I became a mother, I wanted the best for my daughter and didn't want her to feel the things I did not seeing my Dad when I was with my Mom, or not seeing my Mom when I was with my Dad.

Unfortunately, life happens. People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out. That's really hard, but that's the reality of it, and that's the normal for a lot of kids in divorced homes. They have to split their time and split their love. It really isn't that fair, but it's a lot of our 'normality' and a hell of a lot of our truth is in that.

As a small child, I wondered for the longest times what I had done wrong. I had endlessly wondered, "Am I being punished? Is this what happens when you aren't a good girl? That your parents fight and yell and scream at each other? That one of them packs up all their belongings and moves to another house?"

I didn't know it then, but looking back at it now, the answer is: No.

It is never a child's fault that two parents get a divorce. It is never really anyone's fault, but sadly, the child is the one who suffers the most from its outcome. I told myself that if I ever found myself in a situation where my child's father and I didn't work out, that I would let her and her Daddy have free game on when they wanted to see each other.

If he just happened to have the day off unexpectedly and wanted to come get her - Done.
If she woke up one morning and said, "I want to go to Daddy's today," - Done.
If they wanted to see each other but it's not "his" weekend yet - Done.

I never wanted - nor do I ever want - my child(ren) to ever feel like they have to fight to see their other parent. I never want them to feel as unhappy as I did, feeling like they were being punished or feeling like their heart strings were torn and tangled in our love triangle.

Trying to 'look on the brightside' however, growing up with divorced parents wasn't always bad. Yeah it hurt like hell some times more than other, but it also had some pro's to help balance out the con's. Like I said, you get two of everything. I gained two new parents, some new siblings, and two new gigantic families full of love to the mix. I earned two new families with different traditions, which have instilled into my being. I got to have two birthdays, Christmases, twice the love and most importantly - I got double the support I needed when I was having a hard time with the separation of the other parent. 

Luckily, when my parents remarried, they took "forever to heart and took their long, sweet ride." I can only hope that going forward in this whirlwind of life, that when I "stand at the screendoor and watch my whole world run towards an old Ford" that her father and I can give her all the happiness, love and support that she deserves.  

xoxoxo,
-S

8 Years Old, Wearing Angel Wings



At this time (12:31 AM), in 2008, I went to bed thinking everything was normal. I laid in bed and then had to get up and use the restroom. Well, after going to the restroom, I found myself going into labor with my beautiful baby girl. I changed clothes then off to the hospital I went. Within the next hour, I was then laying in a hospital bed in the worst pain of my life. Labor seemed like it was a never ending story. I was exhausted and slept uncomfortably while I waited and waited and waited. Sleeping off and on for a whole day, I spent my moments awake praying for courage and strength to have my baby and praying for her to be healthy and safe.  

August 14th marks 8 years exactly that I have been blessed with the most beautiful presence that has truly blessed my life. God graced me with that gift of motherhood that I had waited for for 9 months at 03:57 PM. At that time, was when I gave birth to the most precious 8 pound, 9 ounce, 21 inches long baby girl. From the very second I heard her cry as she entered the world, I knew, right there in Room 218 of Mercy Medical Center of Roseburg that my heart was now fully complete, so full of love. Being her mother has taught me so much and I never knew I could love someone or something more than I love her. She has tugged at my heart strings, made me cry and laugh with so much joy and has pushed my buttons so many times- but even with that, it has all been worth everything I have. 

Nothing could ever comparte to the grace, beauty, love, wisdom, joy, happiness and courage she has given me and she will always be my reason to breathe, live and see the amazing tomorrow's. Some days its as if I need her more than she needs me and she is teaching me more than I am teaching her. She is the sunshine of my life and I cannot even express into words how tremendously blessed I am to be able to call her my daughter.

Babygirl, I believe we all make our own destiny - and I didn't know it until you came into my life, but I was destined to be your Mama. You make my life so meaningful and you are my whole entire reason for being. I love you so very, very much and I hope every single wish you make comes true. Happy happy happy birthday, my sweet darling. You will never know how much your Mommy cares for you and how much she loves you. I hope you always remember that and remember that when you dream, dream BIG. I love you, sweetheart!

-Love, Mommy. 

Monday, May 9, 2016

I'll Be


Thanks to this Little Lovely, I celebrated my 7th day devoted to celebrating mothers.

On Mother's Day, she woke me up pink, long stemmed roses in a vase, a card that made me cry and some new work shirts. Then we got glammed up and got our spring photos done. Then we celebrated Mother's and Papa's 89th Birthday by having a steak and halibut dinner together around the table. 

I hope every lady out there had a Happy Mother's Day full of love and blessings. 

xoxox, 
-S.


When darkness falls upon your heart and soul, 
I'll be the light that shines for you.
When you forget how beautiful you are,
I'll be there to remind you. 
When you can't find your way,
I'll find my way to you.
When troubles come around,
I will come to you.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter when you need someone to see you through,
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you, 
the one that will hold onto you.
When you feel the rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around,
I'll be.

And when you're there with no one there to hold,
I'll be the arms that reach for you.
And when you feel your faith is running low,
I'll be there to believe in you.
When all you find are lies,
I'll be the truth you need,
When you need someone to run to,
You can run to me.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter when you need someone to see you through,
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you,
the one that will hold onto you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around,
I'll be.

I'll be the sun, when your heart is filled with rain.
I'll be the one to chase the rain away.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter when you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you, 
the one that will hold onto you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around,
I'll.be.
I'll be.


Tuesday, April 5, 2016

My Grandmother, My Angel

Even though I can't touch your face, I still feel you with me everyday and 
I wish you could see all my dreams coming true. When I get lost, I close my eyes - 
I feel you shining down so bright, I feel you shining down on me. 

You were like my mother, you were my best friend. You were everything I want to be and all the good inside of me, there's never been. Never been another that loved me like you did - 
My grandmother, my angel.

Today would have been your birthday and I miss you so much, more than you'll ever know. It never gets easier, only harder - and how I hated it when the mail stopped coming for you, how your scent started to disappear, or how I could no longer hear the whisper of your voice with the chiming of your rosary in your hands as you prayed. 

I dream of you every night and I know that in heart of hearts, I will see you again someday. 
Until then, I will always carry you with me. 

Don't ever forget how much I love you, Tina.

Happy 91st Birthday.


xoxoxox

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Humble and Kind

You know there's a light that glows by the front door
Don't forget the key is under the mat
Childhood stars shine, always stay humble and kind
Go to church cause your Mama says to
Visit Grandpa every chance you get
It won't be wasted time
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you
Don't steal, don't cheat and don't lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you're dreamin come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

Don't expect a free ride from no one
Don't hold a grudge or a chip and here's why
Bitterness keeps you from flyin
Always stay humble and kind
Know the difference between sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
"I Love You" ain't no pick up line so 
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you
Don't steal, don't cheat and don't lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When those dreams your dreamin come to you 
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

When it's hot, eat a root beer Popsicle
Shut off the AC and roll the windows down
Let that summer sun shine
Always stay humble and kind
Don't take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you're goin
Don't forget to turn back around
And help the next one in line...

Always stay humble and kind.


Sunday, March 20, 2016

Happiest of Birthday's

I know this is a late post, but still. Here it is!

Happy happy birthday to my Daddy!

When I was little, we always thought his birthday was February 23rd, until we found his birth certificate from Los Angeles and found out that his actual day of birth was the 21st of February; so now, for the past three years and moving forward, I give his birthday shout outs twice.

At any rate, I want to say that I love my dad very, very much and only hope that all his wishes come true on both his "birthdays" and all year long.

Thank you for being such a great dad to me, for always being proud of me, for always loving me and for always being able to say it.

You've always said how much you love me and how proud of a father you are of me and that has always meant the world and moon to me. I have so many memories with you in them and I can't even come close to picking my favorite one with you.

I remember every single thing we've ever done, every place we've gone, every song we've sung...

Every everything, I have always remembered, and I always will.

Happy 53rd Birthday, Pop; I hope its the greatest - just like you! xoxoxo!

Thursday, February 4, 2016

A Whole Hearted Promise in Love

This is my generalization of love. It is not towards any certain person or based on any particular events of past relationships, but this is the kind of love and relationship that I wanted. Things in life do not always go as planned, but this is at least my outlook on the subject. My ideas, my story, my collections on feelings I had felt or want to feel. As John Legend once sang, "You're my end and my beginning, even when I lose, I'm winning. Cause I give you all of me and you give me all of you." - which in love and relationships, is how its supposed to be. As lyrically and poetically as I can put it, here it is. 

Once I thought that love was something I could never do - I never thought that I could feel this much. But this yearning in the deep part of my heart is for you. It’s more than a reaction to your touch; it’s a perfect passion – and I can’t get enough. The way you look, the way you laugh, the way you love with all you have, there aint nothin about you that don’t do somethin for me.

The way you kiss, the way you cry, the way you move when you walk by – that’s somethin that always gets to me.

I used to spend my nights out in a barroom because liquor was the only love that I had ever known. I was tempted cause from an early age I found that I liked drinking, and I never turned it down. But you rescued me from reaching for the bottom and you brought me back from being too far gone.

I may drink too much and play too loud, hang out with their rough and rowdy crowd. I may be a not so good girl, but I can assure you, a damn good woman. And you. You’re just as smooth as Tennessee whiskey, just as sweet as strawberry wine and just as warm as a glass of brandy – and honey, I stay drunk on your love, all the time.

I wanna love like Johnny and June, with a "Ring of Fire" burning with you and I wanna "Walk the Line" til the end of time. I wanna love and love you that much, Cash it all in and give it all up and when you're gone, I wanna go too. " 

There's something about a man in black that makes me wanna buy a Cadillac - roll the top back and roll down to Jackson town. I wanna be there on the stage with you, hear the crowds roar, make them want more and then kick the foot lights out. 

"Love is a burning thing and it makes a fiery ring. We're bound by wild desire and I fell into a ring of fire. The taste of love is sweet, when hearts like ours meet. Boy, I fell for you like a child and the fire went wild. I fell into a burning ring of fire, went down down down and those flames went higher. And it burns burns burns the ring of fire - that ring of fire."

"As sure as night is dark and day is light, I'd keep you on my mind both day and night. And happiness that I've known proves that it's right, because your mine, I Walk the Line."

When there's gonna be no more tears to cry and we only have memories of our lives, we'll remember our love like that. Now, they don't make love or hearts like that anymore, but is that really too much to be asking for? 

Now don’t hang up boy, because you know I called on purpose. Even if I’ve had a few, and hell I’m hurting, there ain't no words that I’ll ever forget, cause in the morning, I’ll still mean everything I said.

You’re gonna run out of cigarettes, and we’re gonna run out of wine. We haven’t even started the good stuff yet, but it’s okay because we’ve got plenty of time. So pull up a comfortable chair and put on those records that always drive me crazy. You look so good in the dim lights that you look like nothing - but mine. Everything I love and everything I want. 

I wanna love you like this ol’ world is gonna stop. Til the very last second, the last tick of that ol’ clock. I’m gonna slow it all down and then take you from zero to ten cause I wanna love you like I’ll never love you again.

I wanna love you like the rain on a tin roof, stronger than a bottle of 110 Proof. I wanna take love to places that love has never been because I wanna love you like I’ll never love you again. And I will fall in love with you all over again.

I’ve looked for love in all the same old places, found the bottom of a bottle always dry so when you poured out your heart, I didn’t think to waste it – because there’s nothing like your love to get me high. In my life I’ve been hammered by some heavy blows that never knocked me off my feet, but all you’ve gotta do is smile at me and down I go. It’s no mystery to me whatsoever, why I surrender. It’s because boy, you’ve got everything.

I love your attitude, all your tattoos, and your every thought. Your smile, your lips, those mesmerizing and beautful eyes. I could sit here til the end of time listing everything that attracts me to you because that list goes on and on and on…

Your dance, your will, your drive - you make me feel alive. The way you talk, the way you tease… By now, I think you see that there’s not one thing that doesn’t do something for me. I’m so into you, you’ve got that something – but what can I do? Everytime you look at me, my heart is jumpin, and it’s always so easy to see.

Don’t worry about any damage done, just let the words roll off your tongue – even if you’re lying. If you really don’t mean it, I don’t care - If you need a little buzz to get you there, then hell, I’m buying. 

Just say you do, for tonight and every night, just say you might. Have a heart, bend the truths, even if you don’t, couldn’t you just mess me up, get in my head. I’ll steal your tee shirt and wreck your bed, all night long like you used to, even if you don’t, couldn’t you just say you do.

Yeah baby, I’m begging you to lead me on, say it feels good to be wrapped up in my arms. I don’t mind a little smoke getting in my eyes, but baby take your hands and take your lies – and lay them on me.

I’m always thinking and doing things that I shouldn’t be. One more drink leads to another and you slide up close to me, tear the tee shirts off each other with your hands all over me. I’ll tell myself I’m NOT in love, but one more time is not enough. One last kiss and then you’re gone, and I’ll be wishing you could stay a little longer.

I know I could never tell you enough, but all I’ll ever need is your crazy love. Even if I never get to see the Northern Lights, or never get to see the Eiffel Tower at night, if all I got is your hand in mine, then that is just more than fine.

So let’s just end this day and everyday together… and stay a little longer. 

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Someday

Well its been years, and there's so much to tell, been doing alright in spite of myself. Just wish I could stop feeling mad when I pray - but I know I'm gonna get there someday.

Got that job I was dreaming about, sometimes it's tough traveling around. But who I wanna be still seems so far away - but I know I'm gonna get there someday.

Glad I told you, all I meant to, while I had the chance, cause every moment that I had with you, made me who I am.

By the way, I met someone new, and wouldn't you know, he's a whole lot like you. Still I ain't ready to settle down in one place - but I know I'm gonna get there someday.

Well I guess I'll be moving on, I'll just leave these roses by your stone. And Grandpa, I still miss you everyday - but I know I'm gonna get there someday.

When that'll be, guess only God can say - but I know I'm gonna get there someday.

And when I get where I'm going, on the far side of the sky - the first thing that I'm gonna do, is spread my wings and fly.I'm gonna land beside a lion, and run my fingers through his mane, or I might find out what its like to ride a drop of rain.

Cause when I get where I'm going, there'll be only happy tears. I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years. I will leave my heart wide open, I will love and have no fear - when I get where I'm going, don't cry for me down here.

I'm gonna walk with my Granddaddy, and he'll match me step for step - And I'll tell him how I missed him every minute since he left, and then I'll hug his neck.

When I get where I'm going, there'll be only happy tears. I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years, I will leave my heart wide open, I will love and have no fear - when I get where I'm going, don't cry for me down here - and that's when I get where I'm going.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Don't You Know You're Beautiful?

I swore up and down I would never do this but here it is... 

Completely BARE, impurities and imperfections and all. 

There are a lot of scars, cuts that healed and so many aging sun spots that hide underneath the makeup I wear daily. So I had a change of heart. I really wanted young girls and baby girls that look up to me so much to know that your beauty is not in the makeup mask you wear everyday. 

Real beauty comes from within and vanity can be a really terrible thing at times. I can only hope to teach my little girl and nieces and cousins that they are loved without makeup, and so far, I'm doing a damn good job at it. I am far from perfect but I know exactly who I am and what I have to offer and I can proudly say that because I AM comfortable in my own skin to do so. 


To all the girls who think they aren't pretty, just remember how much beauty is within your heart and no one can take that away from you. And that is what makes you beautiful.

I've had problems with acne and scaring for so long, it's taken me a long time to get my skin to clear up. I have two huge scars on my eyebrows where I cut my head open when I was a child. It makes them look really uneven at times. It was a bad memory so that's why I fill them in. I'm not scared to go out and about without my makeup by any means, but makeup is an interest of mine. I've always been into art and creating pretty things and even though I think a bare face is more attractive, I've always thought of makeup is an art, where i can create a different painting on my blank canvas every morning. 

I'm kind of like Miss Dolly Parton. I just liking making things and people pretty. I also believe with all my heart that makeup should enhance your beauty, not make it. I just want girls everywhere to know that just because we as a society are so hell bent on being pretty, skinny, etc., it's not all glitz and glamour. The reality is, is that each girl is beautiful in her own way - its society that's ugly, and the reason why is because they give females an image that young women spend their lives trying to fit with. A smile is the best makeup a woman can ever wear, but it's always fun to doll up and make yourself edgy, feisty and gorgeous at the same time. 

The Lord made me hard to handle, so loving me might be a long shot gamble, but I damn sure wanna feel pretty while I'm doin it. Makeup or not, skinny or not, I just think all women are gorgeous and I want to give them all the strength and empowerment to love themselves. So this ones for the girls! 

xoxoxo! -S.

Friday, January 22, 2016

My Best Year Yet - 2015

Whew! What a year 2015 had been. Many ups and downs, but gladly, there were more ups. 

January was a rough month as I wasn't working starting the new year. About half way through the month, I fell into a position with a marketing firm selling a variety products. I was a top selling lead but it wasn't a position that made me entirely happy. 


February rolled around shortly after, and after a month of being burnt out on marketing and sales, I was losing my steam. I was happy to have an income coming in, but I was looking for more. I started looking for employment elsewhere. I've always had a list of jobs I wanted to experience but they seemed to be just a distant dream. If only I had known, the opportunities were like those messages in side mirrors of your car; "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear." So here I was seeking more fulfilling employment elsewhere at the very end of the month and then there it was, like a sign from God. I was on Craigslist reading job postings when there it was in all capital letters: "SALES SUPPORT SPECIALIST for DICK HANNAH'S ACURA OF PORTLAND." Excitedly, I clicked on the link and completed my online application with a submitted resume. I knew I had a decent shot and since I have always been a car girl with a knowledge of Honda's and Acura's, I figured, 'What have I got to lose?' I went to bed praying so hard that God would grant me the answer to my prayer as working for American Honda and Acura was a job I had only dreamed about.





March Madness quickly followed Frazzled February, and I had gotten a call from a kind hearted, soft spoken woman named, Miss Amy. She had called me to set up an interview with her about the position I had applied for. Without hesitation, I graciously accepted an appointment with her to discuss the position and my work history. On March 05th, I went in for my interview. Miss Amy was the sweetest woman and instantly I felt a great connection with her. She told me she was "quite impressed with my resume and personally felt that I would be a great candidate for the job." A few moments later, she made a phone call to the GM asking if he had a free moment to come up and meet me. Within 5 minutes, a shorter man with blue eyes and a nice suit on came into the office and introduced himself as Mr. Tony Hornback. A name that will always and forever be instilled in my mind. From there, Mr. Hornback asked if Miss Amy had explained the expectations of this position and then proceeded to give me a run down of different 'worst case scenarios' of what can happen while on the job and how I should handle them. As my heart started racing from nervousness, I was terrified of saying the wrong thing, but remained collected and answered with the most honest and professional answer I could come up with. As the interview concluded, I was for sure that I had completely BOMBED the interview. usually do great at interviews but this one seemed to have more pressure as this was a job I had dreamed about and I was determined to make that dream a reality. Miss Amy had informed me that she would be in contact with me within the next week to let me know what actions would be made. Let the waiting begin. As I waited and waited for what seemed like eons of time going by, I finally got a call from Miss Amy. She told me that after careful consideration, her and Mr. Hornback would like to move ahead in the hiring process (Freakin rad, right?!) and would like to conduct a criminal background check and would like me to go to Dick Hannah's Corporate Office to complete necessary training and hiring paperwork. As of March 10th, I was officially accepted to Acura of Portland (AOP)! My dream had come true and my wishes were becoming real life. 







Flowing right along to an Amazing April, I was making my mark and establishing relationships with some pretty amazing people at Acura. One of the first people I met on my first day that was right there to always help me out was an amazing, witty, sweet and caring man who I am proud to say is now one of bestest friends I ever had or will have. Mr. Justin Pai was the greatest welcome and is as good as they get when it comes to showing you the ropes and being there as a constant support. Justin, for that, I will always thank you for the acceptance and love you showed me right off the bat when I was brand new in a world of new things at work. You will never know how much your kindness impacted the start of my career at Acura. Another great friend and support I met, was a tall, hazel eyed charming man with a killer smile that has now become my partner in crime. He was always there to talk to me and make sure I didn't "mess things up." Sharing a common love for tattoos and for a sarcastic, sassy attitude, Mr. Christopher Draper has always given me nothing but funny grief to put millions of smiles on my face, even when I didn't want him to.  He's shared so many great times with me inside and outside of work. Just like Miss Amy, Mr. Hornback and JPai, he has become one of the greatest people in my life and I will cherish them for everything they've taught me and shared with me. In the second week of an Acura April, I was honored to have received the Acura of Portland 'Believe In Nice' Employee of the Month. The recognition is awarded to an employee that is nominated by their fellow peers. This award was very prestigious and meant so much to me because one of my [many] incentives was that I got to choose an organization or charity of my choice for a $200 contribution to be made. I take my volunteer project with Oregon Dept. of Fish & Wildlife very seriously and always hold that one dear to my heart. My Papa, Monty Montgomery, is the reason why. He devoted decades of his time working for ODFW and ever since I was a kid, he helped mold that into me. The reason we do what we do, the reason we volunteer, the reason we have the traditions we have is because of him and the ODFW organization. He's the best man I've ever had the privilege in knowing and I have nothing but the most utmost respect for him. The legacy he has instilled in me with our volunteer projects is so irreplaceable and I am so honored to be a part of it. Papa had just celebrated his 88th birthday and needless to say, I have chosen ODFW to accept the contribution on my behalf, as it will always hold that special place in my heart, as well as the man who introduced it to me. I am very humbled, gracious and very, very honored to have had this. To everyone who nominated me for that recognition, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.




May, June and July were amazing months as I had been blossoming at work. In May, BabyGirl's dad made his way home from Afghanistan, finishing his second tour to the Middle East. This was such an emotional but happy time for our families and for my little girl. She hadn't seen her daddy in almost 2 years. All Oregon soldiers were being welcomed home after being deployed for the last 2 years. We kept them all in our thoughts and prayers and we will always bless them for giving us our daily freedoms. Only FOUR out of all Oregon soldiers received their Purple Hearts and our Sgt. Robert Appling was one of those four. Robert, congratulations and we were so proud to welcome you home! We are so proud of you and your accomplishments and to each and every one our soldiers, thank you to each and every one of you for your courage, bravery and sacrifice! I was also back on a coed softball team with my cousins and some childhood friends. The field is my sanctuary. Its a place I can find comfort and clear my head. Like the open road and racing cars is for me. The field is where I don't have to question my skill - I just know. Its a game I can proudly say that I am damn good at. I know what I'm doing out there and I am proud of the athlete I am there. I am so happy to be back on a team and playing my favorite pastime in the greatest game ever played. 






In an Accomplished August, BabyGirl celebrated her 7th year of life. On August 14th, marked 7 years exactly that I have been blessed with the most beautiful presence that has truly blessed my life. God graced me with the gift of motherhood at 03:57 PM when I gave birth to the most precious 8 pound, 9 ounce, 21 inches long baby girl. From the very second I heard her cry as she entered the world, I knew, right there in Room 218 of Mercy Medical Center of Roseburg that my heart was now fully complete, so full of love. Being her mother has taught me so much and I never knew I could love someone or something more than I love her. She has tugged at my heart strings, made me cry and laugh with so much joy and has pushed my buttons so many times- but even with that, it has all been worth everything I have. Nothing could ever compare to the grace, beauty, love, wisdom, joy, happiness and courage she has given me and she will always be my reason to breathe, live and see the amazing tomorrow's. Some days its as if I need her more than she needs me and she is teaching me more than I am teaching her. She is the sunshine of my life and I cannot even express into words how tremendously blessed I am to be able to call her my daughter. Malia Noela, I believe we all make our own destiny and I didn't know it til you came into my life that I was destined to be your Mama. You make my life so meaningful and you are my whole entire reason for being. I love you so very, very much and I hope every single wish you make comes true. Happy happy happy birthday, my sweet darling. You will never know how much your Mommy cares for you and how much she loves you. I hope you always remember that and remember that when you dream, dream BIG.

In Sweet September, BabyGirl became 
a Second Grader! She loves her new teacher, Ms. Nelson and she was so happy to see her schoolmates again. She has grown into the smartest, charismatic little person I know, and I love to watch her grow. She has done exceptionally well this year and has learned so much. I only hope to see her succeed in her upcoming years and I am so proud to call her my little babe. 







Spooking into fall, October brought me an amazing reward. AOP had celebrated a well deserved win in the Acura Summer Sedan 2015 Challenge. Well deserved because the AOP Sales Department worked their asses off at this yearly contest and we won with the TLX Sales Events we promoted all spring and summer long. All our Sales men and women worked countless extra hours and put in so much effort to this cause. The prize was an all expenses paid dinner at Downtown Portland's Morton's Steakhouse. This  restaurant is top notch and very expensive. Now, being the Reception/Concierge, I was not included in this challenge... Or so I thought. The day of the dinner, Miss Amy and Mr. Hornback had told me that per special request by our Sales Managers - 2 amazingly supportive and knowledgeable men, Mr. Brad Caba and Mr. Nick Patoray - they would like to include me in this well deserved dinner. I humbly asked why I should be included as I was not part of any of the sales on these vehicles, and I was informed that I was a crucial part of these sales because if it hadn't have been for me getting stock numbers, key tags, pricing sheets and countless other things, my presence was formally requested. No other receptionist/concierge has EVER taken part in these dinners and here I am, less than 7 months into a career with AOP and I was being asked to participate. I graciously and humbly accepted and made it known to all my managers and peers that I was completely honored to be a part of the dinner with them. It was, if not, the best night of the year for me. I will never forget the recognition and honor I felt that night and it will always be a memory I will hold in my heart forever. 













Not-So-Nice-November was a tough month for me. Let me just say that typically, November is MY month. It is the month I was born in. It is the month that recognizes Epilepsy Awareness, (for those of you who don't know, I am epileptic). It is also the month that celebrates Native American Indian Heritage month, (yes, I am also Native American). It is the month of my second favorite holiday, (first is Fourth of July. I'm very patriotic). I was alive and well. Loving life and in good health about to come up on my 28th birthday. Well, 4 days prior to celebrating my 28th, my health, my life, my job was suddenly disrupted. It was a crisp, fall morning, I just dropped off BabyGirl and her best friend, Miss A off at school. The sun was just peaking over the roof tops. I was passing through the normal neighborhood I drive through daily, when out of the corner of my eye, I see a big SUV coming up fast on the left hand side. I noticed that this driver was not attempting to slow down and she was not even looking at the road. She had been looking down at her phone texting while driving. I attempting to flash my lights and honk my horn at her to inform her that traffic was coming and she needed to stop. As I tensed up, I noticed she did not even bat an eyelash to even look up and prepare to stop. I tried to stop, and even tried swirving out of the way but by then, it was too late. I had already t-boned her. I was anxious and was scared to death, and before I knew it, I had police officers, an ambulance, and fire trucks surrounding me. Everywhere I turned, there were flashing lights, medics and law enforcement running towards me. I was nervous and suddenly fell into a trance - Everything looked blurry, sounds were muffled, all I could hear was my breath and my heart pounding in my ears. I saw witnesses outside and talking to police. I had a police report and a DMV report filed. Airbags deployed and roughed myself up pretty bad. I was so concerned with not only my car, but my job that was waiting for me. I frantically called Mr. Hornback and Mr. Caba, crying and panicking and all. As I wept and continuously apologized for letting them down and not being able to come into work, in a calmed voice, I heard, "It's alright, don't worry about us, we are more worried about you - are you alright, are you injured, your life is so much more important. All you need to do is calm down, just take a breath and get the medical attention you need."  I spent the remainder of afternoon at Emergency getting numerous x-rays done and then after finding out that I had a severe case of whiplash and a severely sprained neck, back and knee, I was then ordered to have a neck brace and a leg brace. I had been on the phone with insurance, doctors, attorneys, my nothing but completely understanding employer, the Washington County Sheriff's Office, with customers, my dad... It seemed that the phone calls were endless and all I had wanted to do was sleep, and rest. My neck, shoulders, back and right knee are sprained and my knee was swollen and severely bruised. I had a bruise across my collar bone and across my chest from my seat belt restraining me back from flying through the windshield. The doctor wanted me to take "a few days" off and start physical therapy the next week. I needed to wear the braces on my neck and right leg for a few weeks to a month and I was prescribed a couple different pain killers and muscle relaxers to help as I need it... It wasn't my fault so I was hoping that the ignorant driver involved got hell for this. I couldn't turn my neck or bend my right leg. I couldn't complete simple daily tasks - hell, I couldn't even play with my child. It was so sad to think that this woman was too busy texting while driving and flew through the stop sign that she took things from me that I couldn't get back. I missed my car, my 2004 Acura TL. I loved my car, it was my other baby besides BabyGirl. I went so many places and made so many memories in that vehicle and it became a part of me. It was also a gift to me from BabyGirl's dad for being such a good mother to his child and it was the nicest thing anyone's ever given to me. I'm a firm believer in NOT texting while driving and I've always looked down on people who did. I've known too many people that were involved in accidents from someone who was texting and hit them. It's sad that so many ignorant people could ruin or take something from a decent individual that worked so hard to earn the things they have. I'm mad at her not just for running the stop sign, but I'm also mad at her for texting while driving and for not having her full attention on the road. I'm mad at her for not driving safely with even her own child in the car with her. I'm mad at her for taking something that was gifted to me away from me. To this day, I still have alot of feelings toward this, and it will never fully be behind me.

Dancing Back December came before I knew it. I was due back at work before I knew 




it. I was still in the process of rental cars and insurance mayhem from the accident but was not going to let that bring me down anymore. On December 4th, I watched my two childhood friends tie the knot. I was so blessed to be able to witness such a joyous event between the two of them. Watching them together amongst their family and friends, I realized in that instance that life is happening. Like right now. No matter what obstacles come your way, you must live for the day cause life and time won't ever stop just because you are. I was determined to make the end of the year a good end. A short few days later, I was back at work and in the process of waiting to hear back from the banks on a car I was really wanting. This car was going to be my second dream car. I was so nervous and was sad that I didn't really think I had much of a good chance. But long story short, strings were pulled and the bank came through and I was suddenly holding the keys to my new 2007 Honda Civic Si. Merry Christmas and Happy (belated) Birthday to me! Christmastime was amazing with my work family. We had an amazingly magical Christmas party at Mama Sandy's Winter Wonderland house, that was so gorgeous, I will always remember it. Our Acura Potluck at work a few days later was so fun, everyone baking, prepping, wrapping gifts, and sharing so many laughs, was a time to be cherished. It was especially a good time being able to have a potluck dinner with Mr. Hannah himself. I spent the holiday with so many close coworkers, Miss TJ made everyone amazing little mason jars filled with amazingly (strong) good apple cider moonshine. Mr. Jame(s) got me an awesome HID Conversion Kit for my new cars headlights. After I tinted the windows, I had the HID's he gave me put in and now, I'm loving my cute little car. Christmas Day was spent in my hometown, Winston, with my parents (my dad and stepmom) and was a very special time for me as I had not had a Christmas with them in years. It was so special to BabyGirl that we got to have that special holiday with them, making memories new and old for years to come. :)

I am so unbelievably thankful for all the things 2015 gave to me, and for all the lessons learned within that year. I honestly have met so many personal goals in the past year that I cannot wait to see what this new year will bring me. The sky is the limit and I have no place to go but up! 

xoxoxo! -S.